back to surfing 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 what is this 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 ? 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 I wrote another rehash of this page here𓆝 𓆟 𓆞

I've always been enamoured by portfolio websites, not even by the work itself but the way people present themselves online on their about page. It was less of an abstraction of self than social media, it was a declaration of being. After graduating I was lost. Who was I, where was I going, what did I believe in, what do I love, how did I want to live? I realized that life is truly limitless, you can literally do anything that you want.

I saw this project as a self-portrait. I always thought self-portraits, even the ones that are just a true imitation of yourself, is a way of becoming. You're forced to look at yourself, take a deep look, and come to terms with what you see. Why are you the way you are, what do you think you want to become?

The web/ui as a metaphor has been stuck in my head. Instead of an actual portfolio, I wanted this to be a metaphor of who I am. To be quite frank, I'm a mess of different interests and my projects don't particularly follow a theme, and some of them are not that good. In fact, most things I've made are not utilitarian nor incredibly amazing and my perception of the world is always changing. But I think that's who I am right now and it'll be nice to see how this representation of my work evolves as I meander along. As boxes grow, as years past, it'll serve as a record of the incohesion of my existance.

I hid information, though inane about myself, in half-baked affordances and helper text. To be honest, to know someone is inconvenient. A lot of parts of myself are left unsaid to even myself. But you'll never know what you want until you do it. I think making this made me realize, maybe I really truly love doing this expression of myself and my thoughts even if no one will see it but me and there is literally no utility to it.

I've been thinking about parasociality on the internet. Lately, my comfort media is youtube videos and tiktoks by microinfluencers following their dreams. It's strange, blurring the line between reality and fiction, I take solace in their words. They're just like me fr. I suppose by making this, I wondered what someone would do with all this information. I guess I wanted to represent the beauty in the meaninglessness and struggle of becoming yourself. The fact that you can never truly capture yourself but despite it all I wanted to grasp the fluidity of my yearning anyways.

Anyways, if any of this site is interesting - please reach out! I'm trying to figure out how to live a creative life the way I want and am trying to learn more how others approach it too.

credits: visual inspo, website inspiration: chia, katherine, nikhil and much more but I'm writing this at midnight so can't remember right now so this will be periodically updated